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A
Discussion on Eye Rolling and Kids
Have you ever caught your child rolling
their eyes at something you said? If so,
let's take a look at reasons why they could
have done it. Think back to a time your
child rolled their eyes at you. Was it when
you were telling a joke which they did not
think was funny? Was it when you told them
to eat their vegetables? Or when you were
correcting them in front of a friend of
theirs? Now think about this. Did they do it
out of blatant disrespect or out of
embarrassment? If they rolled their eyes
while you were correcting them in front of a
friend they could have done it out of
embarrassment. They were embarrassed by what
you were doing in front of a peer. No, it
was not appropriate that your child rolled
their eyes at you while you were correcting
them, even in front of a friend, but do be
sensitive when you correct your child. It
can be very embarrassing to announce in
front of the class just before your child
gives an oral report, "Do not slouch,
James!" If James rolls his eyes it is an
emotional response based on social
discomfort. He is rolling his eyes in
defense. A plea. "Please leave me alone, Ma.
You are embarrassing me." Do be mindful of
your child's feeling. If it is not critical
that you correct your child at that very
moment in front of other kids or even in
front of other adults, do it later.
Another situation
where I believe you should have some
leniency with eye rolling is when you are
telling a joke. A child should not have to
find your jokes funny. As long as their body
language is not overtly rude and they do not
say something mean to you about your joke,
you should not make a big ta-do of their eye
rolling. Now if you tell your child to eat
their vegetables and they look at you
defiantly, cross their arms and roll theirs
eyes, this is being disrespectful. This
should not be tolerated. You should not
brush it off as kids just being kids. You
should tell them they are being
disrespectful. With this in mind, when
watching a child roll their eyes look for
corresponding body language and facial
expressions. I believe this is important. If
a parent tells their child to please clean
their room and the child gives them an
impertinent look while rolling their eyes
this is being disrespectful. On the other
hand, if a parent tells their child, "Lucy,
you need to do your homework over. Your
handwriting is atrocious!" and Lucy looks to
the right or quickly rolls her eyes down
while blushing or slumping her shoulders in
a defeated manner she is not being
disrespectful. I have seen upset parents
react too fast to their child's emotional
response and accuse them of "rolling their
eyes" and being disrespectful when the child
was in fact not doing this. Their manner was
not defiant, they were showing humiliation.
There is a difference. Make sure you don't
jump to the conclusion your child is being
disrespectful.
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