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Coping
with Bullies
Too bad there's not a fast acting magical
solution for your child when they encounter
a bully. Like them saying, "Bully BEGONE!"
and poof the bully is gone. As far as
bullies go I do not support the line that
defeat can only make you stronger. Let's
face it going against a bully can be
stressful. And it can be even more stressful
knowing it can happen again. I take a hard
line against bullies. Their unacceptable
behavior should not be tolerated. There is
no excuse for bullying,
harassing
or intimidating a classmate, or tormenting a
younger kid. Even if a bully's home life is
difficult that does not give them the right
to make life difficult for other children.
So what can your child do when faced with a
bully?
#1- Have them avoid situations where they
could encounter bullies. They should not
hang out where they hang out. Avoid them.
When walking home take a different route.
And walk with a friend or a group. For if
there is only one bully and six other kids,
the bully is out numbered if the other kids
stick together.
#2- Your child should not let another child
frighten them into giving them their
money/having to do another kid's
homework/etc. If this happens your child
needs to go tell an adult/teacher. If the
bully says, "It is my word against yours."
Well guess what, once an adult is told the
bully now has a record that they did X. This
will be helpful for any other future
intimidating this child does. If the
harassment continues go see the principle.
Protect your child.
#3- You might not agree with me but I have
seen this work: Enroll your child in a self
defense class for confidence. Empower your
child. Bullies like to go after kids who are
weaker than them. When looking for karate or
judo classes ask if they also work on self
confidence. You can talk to the teacher
about what your child is going through.
Sometimes it can be helpful for a child to
talk to an adult they admire and respect
about a bullying problem. Especially if this
adult went through the same problem as them
as a kid.
4#- This can work in some cases if you know
the bully and their parent yourself. And
where your school might not take an
assertive stand on bullies or where it is
just happening in your neighborhood. Have a
calm talk with the bully and their parent.
By showing you are emotionally in control
shows you are being reasonable and logical
about the situation. If you yell at the
bully or their parent that will give them an
excuse to tune you out. You want to help
your child not make things worse. Plus,
there are times when parents are not aware
their child is bullying other kids. This may
be because the bully is getting away with it
by scaring kids with their hush up method
(if you tell anyone you will be in more
trouble). So it is important to let a parent
know if their child is bullying another. But
again I repeat do not yell your complaint to
the other parent. People do not like to be
yelled at. I believe you will get further
trying to be calm as possible when you
explain the situation.
If you have a child who is
argumentative, rude, out of control,
defiant, difficult... or has ODD try the
Total
Transformation
parenting program. You can read reviews for it on my site at
Harmony-in-the-Home.
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articles, tips, arts and crafts, children's
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